The Starry Skies

I feel heartache in the night Nothing for me to take pride in I fear my heart burning tonight A world conjured around me, it stings Where can I go When will I find the way to Let go Begin again one day Over and over again Have been dancing the same dance From beginning to end My arms in the air Begging for respite My legs, no my knees Touching earth Where can I go To find a place to hold dear When will I be proud Of me I survived And that's enough they say I've been through a lot of warfare For war's sake And nothing else Not my fault or my mistake Things just happened that way I couldn't help but be afraid I'm tired of not being proud I'm tired of questioning it I'm tired of being this little thing A spec of light in someone's life A small achievement here and there But in the grand scheme of things All I see is despair Begin again, and again Learn to be free again, my friend The things that hurt you will end The time will move ahead The things that bot...

  I tell you, breathe I compel you, be free I won't lie I can't hold you far behind Not for longer You must walk away Find your way Find your path in dismay On this Earth everyday We all get lost again and again Just breathe Learn to speak With each person according To their needs Just breathe Learn to feel The power within you And never freeze Just breathe and learn to fear The knowledge that you hold dear The world collides The time of respite Collects itself Grab your sword Grab your spear Put on your shield Ready yourself to walk your path And understand The truth is, in fact A matter of perception And justice is blind Truth is a concept That has long died Don't fight your way Into the long lost plains Walk there with peace Learn to drop that chip off Know there's to defeat No good or evil Or right or wrong A thought burns itself in your memory A soul burns through you like fire The breathing helps contain your agony The war that has raged on inspires Your anger You...

It has been years and I am Still grieving Grieving my loss Grieving those who are gone Grieving what's missed Grieving everyone Grieving the living Grieving the dead Grieving what could have been Grieving who I am instead Grieving what the world could be Grieving my mistakes Grieving the stakes Grieving even my victories Grieving the past Grieving the future Grieving what's passed Grieving how I matured Grieving the child within Grieving the lost years Grieving every single sin Grieving all of my fears Grieving my grievances Grieving my losses and gains Grieving all the instances Where I was in pain Grieving every apology Grieving, but faint Grieving my anthology Grieving my fate Grieving what I was determined to be Grieving my hate Grieving my concern and misery Grieving the image in the mirror Grieving the silence I gave Grieving my errors Grieving the moment when I caved Grieving my cowardice Grieving the instances when I was brave Grieving the glimpses of the past Grieving ...

  Breathing deep I do not know how to feel My heartbeat Is racing at a speed tenfold The memories Came back in a sudden surge The PTSD Has me gripped from my soul The fear in me Forcing me to answer the call The fear in me To close my eyes and see the imagery The death that filled my life with misery The people I've seen suffering And the ones who had already passed away thankfully Their images haunt my head I tried but I cannot forget The pain that grasps my ends Has me sitting always on edge Anxiety and little lies They surface again They tell me things will never be alright And that I have no friends Not really, anyways And no one can care And how could they If I never told them what plagues my head A therapist that never saw what I did Can never get through to me in the end My mother literally on a death bed God I wish that it was me instead At least then I'd have been spared All the fear and suffering that I Keep lying about, I always deny The fact that I have a trauma so ...

  Formulating Executing my desires Captivating Rescuing my empire Built of dirt And nothing more And stranger yet It's all I've got All I've known All I want Preserving what I can And stranger things yet Are to come at hand I know not what the changer will be All I know that it's not me All I know is that I walk through With a mixture of affliction and ecstasy Firing off Taking off to fly away Laughing off Smiling deeply through the pain Attempting to just exist Ruminate in my room In the depths of the darkness I, will bloom A new moon is on the horizon And I am yet climbing Stranger yet That I am surviving And soon to be thriving I wonder how I wander And never find a path I am stranger In a strange land Walking on my own Finding it harder and harder To cope with my thoughts Making deals and barters Of myself I'm a clone A mortal shell housing a ghost Made of flesh and bone Affliction and ecstasy carry be forwards Depictions of complexity project me onwards And I a...

  Dear Yusuf I wrote you a message less than a year ago To warn you of the dangers that will come Dear Yusuf I wish that I could've summarized it all But dear god that's so much The world coming around you in a collapse You'll witness more death than anyone should Your inner world is left fractured but intact Doing the exact things you never thought you would Sitting in circles with drugs Never taking a single puff But you know how dangerous it is Yet you still challenge yourself Watching the world around you buzz off As each person surrounding you passes out Suddenly one of them spazzes out Goes into a seizure or a shock You're unsure Can't take him to a hospital What could you do? You try to wake the others up but to no avail Since then hard drugs are a massive fear of yours The scent of them makes you scared Terrified of what could've been Had you not had your iron will Walking away from the scars you've witnessed Running away so far yet you have no fitne...

Walking in the hall Of The King The ruling monarch That rules them all The lord that lords above us all The one that runs this kingdom whole Into the ground, he'll run it Digging his hole Among us he walks all proud In his midst traitors can be found Left and right Doing wrong and right Trying to consume his soul Trying to seduce him to do their bidding Paying him exuberant amounts of money Copious information flowing When you ask the man inside the court Inside the hall we see The King yelling aimlessly "Go and fetch the wine, servant!" "Bring the cups for our guests, servant!" "Tell the truth and do not lie, servant!" "Tell me how my wife died, servant!" The servant simply nods, and whispers "The truth is, m'lord" "She was stabbed in the back" "By her lover, the man she lay with" "I swore an oath not to tell, but my oath is to you." "Tell me, m'lord, what shall I do?" The King growls...

  Walking in the depths of the darkest night Casting a shadow over the shades somehow Walking alone, an unknown direction A wanderer he is in the darkest hour Listening to the ghosts whisper their lullabies Trying to lull him to sleep Missing each voice he's heard a million times Missing those who are eternally asleep He's but a boy in a man's clothes A little boy lost in the snow A little boy who's tripped and fell Stood up again And again And again Refusing to let his fall be his end Lest all his suffering was in vain Crying himself to sleep some nights Quietly wondering where his ghosts have went Hoping to one day meet them again Hoping to one day meet a friend A friend he created out of thin air Hoping to one day feel her embrace This friend of his was his guide and soul And he knows she's not really real The one who helped him stand up whenever he'd fall She felt more real than real Stolen from himself the minutes and hours Trying to find his path through t...

 Stir your eyes as they stare Spin your tales, that you've spared All those who once have dared to cross you Smile and laugh through the pain Acknowledge those sitting across you on your way back home, on the train Learn to love what pains you most Maybe it'll leave you too Accept your fears and internalize them Till you have no clue, who it is that is you Play a piano tune until you fall in love with your skill Lose all hope in getting better at it Drop it somewhere along the way just like everything else And pick up yet another habit and slack it Never reach your potential, nor become what you were meant to be Remain afraid to take a step, and rely on those who "set you free" Never take charge, never push past the first obstacle to come your way Learn to live in agony, and always be afraid That is how you become a lesser being, a cloud of fog Full of uncertainty and rage Just another piece of the machine, another cog Utterly refusing to ever be brave Or to ever take...

Way back in time as a younger man I remember doing all the things an older man can I remember spending time all alone for hours on end Learning the messages which I was sent From the beyond by my ghosts Oh they haunt me so But I feel at peace when they're around At home Their perpetual motion surrounds me Their individual devotion involves me Within their little problems and undead schemes It makes me fear It makes me feel Feel as if I am not alone when I truly am The loneliest person, the loneliest man I walk alone for years and years and years Indulging myself deeply in my fears And from inside my mind comes an imagery Undeniable entities Float around me all the time I remember back in the day when I Used to be happier, used to smile Now I am no more than an apparition A floating ghost among my ghosts An aberration to society with a mission To break all that they consider norm Born happier than ever Yet grew up with a broken heart Felt much weaker than ever And completely torn ap...