Astray

 Walking in the depths of the darkest night
Casting a shadow over the shades somehow
Walking alone, an unknown direction
A wanderer he is in the darkest hour
Listening to the ghosts whisper their lullabies
Trying to lull him to sleep
Missing each voice he's heard a million times
Missing those who are eternally asleep
He's but a boy in a man's clothes
A little boy lost in the snow
A little boy who's tripped and fell
Stood up again
And again
And again
Refusing to let his fall be his end
Lest all his suffering was in vain
Crying himself to sleep some nights
Quietly wondering where his ghosts have went
Hoping to one day meet them again
Hoping to one day meet a friend
A friend he created out of thin air
Hoping to one day feel her embrace
This friend of his was his guide and soul
And he knows she's not really real
The one who helped him stand up whenever he'd fall
She felt more real than real
Stolen from himself the minutes and hours
Trying to find his path through the dark snow
Some nights brave, some nights a coward
Sometimes hunting the wild hares
Sometimes hiding from the howling wolves
The sweet boy within isn't gone
Just lost and awaiting to be found
The shell of a man he wears is a dangerous one
But it's a front for the sad boy hiding around
Helping shelter him from the harms of the world
Helping give him a place to hide when hurt
Helping face the darkness with him some nights
Helping hold his hand when he's alone
The boy really wishes for a world so bright
So colourful, filled with awe
Brushing his hair as he awakens
Pretending it's his long gone caretaker ghost
A single tear leaves his eyes
Every time he remembers her
Her warm embrace and calming words
Her smile and pride when he's ahead
Her consoling nature when he's behind
No wonder the boy misses her
No wonder he's depressed
In his determination he conjured a shell
A shell of a man who's walked through hell
And came back with a vengeance in his eyes
Hating the world for what it did to him
Hating the fact that he survived
The guilt eats away at him
"Why them and not me" he said
Scheming and planning the world's end
That one day he shall commit an atrocity
All in the name of the dead
But that's nothing more than a cover
A scarf that he hides his true face behind
To hide his scars, he pretend to posses some might
To hide his heart, he pretends to be alright
Laughing maniacally, trying his best
To remain kindly, yet emotionless
Helping those who ask, the pure of heart
The ones who don't deserve to face his wrath
Still, he pushes them and him far apart
In the darkness one night
He'll meet his creator
And he'll ask him for one singular favour
To embrace those who are gone and are lost
He's at peace where he's headed
He braved that storm before
He wishes that one night he's beheaded
Before he commits the atrocities that he swore
A part of him hates it
A part of him finds it necessary to do
A part of him despises him
For even thinking it through
And yet he believes in a singular fact
It's no one's fault
But somehow, someone has to pay
For a kid was left alone in the cold
Astray