Feel

 I feel like I'm lost and forsaken
I feel that I'm never mistaken
I feel like I distort the mission so often
I feel like I'll never amount to a whole lot
Between the time of ascension during birth
And my descent within my coffin
I feel lost within a life that's abandoned me to the wolves
I feel a yearning for those who are not here anymore
I feel like I'm confused
Often guided towards the inner black hole that consistently pulls
I feel like I'm worth nothing at all
I feel like I'm everything in the world
I feel like a legend that's never been born
Potential is overrated but I've got potential
Public facing but isolation's essential
I feel like I'm lost and distorted
I feel like everything is contorted
Towards a direction that which I've never chosen
I feel like I'm lost within desire for meaning
I feel like I want to become more than how I'm feeling
I feel like I'm always in control
Yet I always feel controlled by what I often find myself needing
Kneading through the frost knee-deep in a sea and I'm lost
Where's the beach of my soul
I feel lost in my own little ferry
How can I ferry others when I know not what within me I carry
I feel confused by my own achievements
I didn't achieve anything worth mentioning
Yet when I look in the rearview mirror I feel like
I feel like I'm the greatest of all time
I feel like a legend at the start of their climb
I feel like Everest isn't that large after all
But when I get to the foot of the mount
I see the truth of what I claimed always was the thing that always called
I am no mentor to anybody worth mentoring
Yet I can find connection within the smallest details given time
I feel lost in the search for meaning
I feel like I'm stuck outside the confines of time
I feel like I've evolved plenty
I feel like I still wrestle with stasis
I feel a uniqueness in my eccentricity
I feel like I exist in every single one of those liminal spaces
The world owes me everything
But it's only mine for the taking if I dare reach for it
I feel like I'm too scared to take the leap though
I feel like I'm too ensnared by the safety up top
I feel like a sapling that knows it'll never grow
I feel like my entire generation was robbed
I feel like I gotta toil for twice the work for half the reward
I feel like my entire life is planned by powers I cannot perceive
I feel like my perception is distorted by forces
That are far beyond me
I feel like I could lost in pen and paper
I feel like there's nothing greater
Than being lost in a sense of obscurity
I feel a yearning for it
I feel the urge to become much more
I feel the need to be immortalised
I feel the necessity to protect my soul
Nothing feels right and nothing clicks
I feel my heart in my stomach like a brick
Often sinking while wearing a brave face
I feel like the bravest of them all
I feel like I could welcome death
Yet the thought of death terrifies me to my core
I feel I fear I yearn I grow
I stagnate I stand guard for my own gates I find space
Within my own fields to glow
I must shine like the brightest star ever born
I am the Stargazer but I gaze inwards as much as outside
I am the harshest judge my character has ever faced
So don't feel like you'd know better the depths of my inner divide
I am everything and nothing at once
I am what I overcome
I feel like I'll never amount to more
Than the sum of my parts
I feel like I'll collapse under
The weight of the stars
I feel like I'm stuck in time and lost
I feel like I'm out of time and wandering
I feel like what I need most
Is a session of laying bareback on a patch of grass and wondering
Wondering reflecting seeing within like I once did before
I feel like growing up is not as fun as they claim it to be
I feel like this life owes me oh so much more
I feel like I'm both held captive and set free
I feel like I love my work
I feel stuck within it too
I feel like I must grow a conscience
I feel tortured by the one that only dares but leave me clues
I must learn by my own diction and decision
I must understand my actions in mind
I feel like my poetry is horrific
But I also find it often to be touching and sublime
I am nothing more than the sum of my parts
I will be more one day when I dare
Take my hand when the time comes and leap with me
For only when hands are interlocked in the middle of the air
Will we perceive what was always for us there

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