Loudest silence never heard
Enlighten me to the path I've walked along for years
Find me charting out a course about which I know very little
Emboldened by a flame that went out and never returned
Surviving a warpath on which missed me many a missile
I walk alone, sometimes accompanied
By shades from my past
I walk among the ruins of my own harmonies
Observing the dried leaves of my pastures once green
No music to cull the noise
No noise, cause there are no herds
I walk along among it
The loudest silence I've never heard
Find me if you can, I cannot find myself
I know not myself
I know not who to become
I'm so damn burnt out from the time spent
I will one day become something great
Or so I often whisper about my own end
And to what end do I toil and strive
Malleable of spirit, frozen in time
Friends all moved and evolved
They're greater version of whom they once were
Yet I'm mostly the same
Everchanging and malleable, often shapeshifting
Yet still the same
Many carry my name
None carry it like I do
Many foster the same fears
Those who faced them all the way through
Are very few
I am the product of all the things that went wrong
In my past and present too
I know not what my future could hold
I know I could learn about it
Through knowledge of the path I'm yet to choose
I see many sprawling routes
I know not which of them I should venture through
I see all the restraints they could impose
I hope I can learn to break free from them too
Like I've broken free from many before
The shackles that once held me down are no more
I replaced them with my own, for which I have the key
For without limitations, how could one truly say they're free?
I'm free of self-doubt
That's as thick a lie as I can lay upon you
Through every word I speak, self-doubt will seep through
Through every letter you read, you'll come to see
That I doubt myself more than one should
More than most could
But I know better than to argue or question my sanity
For within its fractured - but still held together
You'll find my emotional sanctity
I am the results of all of my mistakes
The sum of all my parts combined
I can never be great
For as long as I remain confined within my own mind
Oh how it plays its tricks on me
How often it tells me things that are not true
On the street least traveled you'll find me
On the night when the moon's most blue
Roaming, roving, wandering
Hoping to find something that points me right
I know it's my future to maneuver
I know only I could decide
What's right or wrong for me
Or where I could then go
A decision with which I'll have
To live with every night and morn
So I try to avoid deciding wrong again
There's already so much I so readily mourn
Loudest silence I've never heard
Carrying the waves of my regret and self-hatred within
I am the greatest man alive today
If only I could figure out my inner kinks
No kings or lords or masters can hold me
Only God can judge me now
Except for me of course. I'm my harshest adjudicator
So till I make a decision then
My head to another human will never bow
Defiant, unwavering my brow
Pride has held me strong for oh so long
I know it's a flaw but I will not fight it yet
I know it's a mistake, I know it's wrong
But it's my main source of strength
I must overcome it nonetheless
If I'm ever to evolve
So pride will step aside once I tell it so
I just hope I see the light soon enough
To ensure that from head to toe
Within me, greatness will flow
The loudest silence must be broken
But let me sit still within
If just for a little bit
The loudest silence I've never heard
Tried to engulf me within its mist
Mysteries remain unsolved within it
The mythical weight of expectation
I've been perceived to be on a path to greatness
I cannot even tame my inner nation
So notions of rebellion exist within
A motion endless inside my own skin
Captained by a ferryman and a stargazer
Both at odds often
One thinks its the end, one is looking where to begin
I never thought I'd live this long
My younger self believed I'd have died before today
To my younger self I once promised
To never lead us astray
So I implore you to promise yours, too
Tell them the road is thick in fog and hard to traverse
Tell them honestly you're as clueless as I am now
But that you'll at the very least do your best
Be your own lantern in the dark
No one will hold your hands
The contrast between who you are now and who you could be
Is so damn stark
Only you'll have to raise your flag yourself upon the mast
The ship won't steer itself
There are no saviours in this universe
Except few who're on the path together
Come ride in the ship with the fragmented alter-ego within my mind
Or sit on my once-green pasture and stare at the stars through my eyes
I'll welcome you regardless as long as you strive, too
I'll welcome you with no strings attached as long as you're trying to better you
Find me charting out a course about which I know very little
Emboldened by a flame that went out and never returned
Surviving a warpath on which missed me many a missile
I walk alone, sometimes accompanied
By shades from my past
I walk among the ruins of my own harmonies
Observing the dried leaves of my pastures once green
No music to cull the noise
No noise, cause there are no herds
I walk along among it
The loudest silence I've never heard
Find me if you can, I cannot find myself
I know not myself
I know not who to become
I'm so damn burnt out from the time spent
I will one day become something great
Or so I often whisper about my own end
And to what end do I toil and strive
Malleable of spirit, frozen in time
Friends all moved and evolved
They're greater version of whom they once were
Yet I'm mostly the same
Everchanging and malleable, often shapeshifting
Yet still the same
Many carry my name
None carry it like I do
Many foster the same fears
Those who faced them all the way through
Are very few
I am the product of all the things that went wrong
In my past and present too
I know not what my future could hold
I know I could learn about it
Through knowledge of the path I'm yet to choose
I see many sprawling routes
I know not which of them I should venture through
I see all the restraints they could impose
I hope I can learn to break free from them too
Like I've broken free from many before
The shackles that once held me down are no more
I replaced them with my own, for which I have the key
For without limitations, how could one truly say they're free?
I'm free of self-doubt
That's as thick a lie as I can lay upon you
Through every word I speak, self-doubt will seep through
Through every letter you read, you'll come to see
That I doubt myself more than one should
More than most could
But I know better than to argue or question my sanity
For within its fractured - but still held together
You'll find my emotional sanctity
I am the results of all of my mistakes
The sum of all my parts combined
I can never be great
For as long as I remain confined within my own mind
Oh how it plays its tricks on me
How often it tells me things that are not true
On the street least traveled you'll find me
On the night when the moon's most blue
Roaming, roving, wandering
Hoping to find something that points me right
I know it's my future to maneuver
I know only I could decide
What's right or wrong for me
Or where I could then go
A decision with which I'll have
To live with every night and morn
So I try to avoid deciding wrong again
There's already so much I so readily mourn
Loudest silence I've never heard
Carrying the waves of my regret and self-hatred within
I am the greatest man alive today
If only I could figure out my inner kinks
No kings or lords or masters can hold me
Only God can judge me now
Except for me of course. I'm my harshest adjudicator
So till I make a decision then
My head to another human will never bow
Defiant, unwavering my brow
Pride has held me strong for oh so long
I know it's a flaw but I will not fight it yet
I know it's a mistake, I know it's wrong
But it's my main source of strength
I must overcome it nonetheless
If I'm ever to evolve
So pride will step aside once I tell it so
I just hope I see the light soon enough
To ensure that from head to toe
Within me, greatness will flow
The loudest silence must be broken
But let me sit still within
If just for a little bit
The loudest silence I've never heard
Tried to engulf me within its mist
Mysteries remain unsolved within it
The mythical weight of expectation
I've been perceived to be on a path to greatness
I cannot even tame my inner nation
So notions of rebellion exist within
A motion endless inside my own skin
Captained by a ferryman and a stargazer
Both at odds often
One thinks its the end, one is looking where to begin
I never thought I'd live this long
My younger self believed I'd have died before today
To my younger self I once promised
To never lead us astray
So I implore you to promise yours, too
Tell them the road is thick in fog and hard to traverse
Tell them honestly you're as clueless as I am now
But that you'll at the very least do your best
Be your own lantern in the dark
No one will hold your hands
The contrast between who you are now and who you could be
Is so damn stark
Only you'll have to raise your flag yourself upon the mast
The ship won't steer itself
There are no saviours in this universe
Except few who're on the path together
Come ride in the ship with the fragmented alter-ego within my mind
Or sit on my once-green pasture and stare at the stars through my eyes
I'll welcome you regardless as long as you strive, too
I'll welcome you with no strings attached as long as you're trying to better you
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