Lost

 I mourn those whom I've lost to time
I mourn all of them, including me
I mourn that little child that
Never really got to live free
I mourn the family that kid was left with
The fact that they tried their best
The fact that they think the world of him
And all he can see is his regrets
I mourn the darkness in which I reside
I mourn my attempts at reaching light
I mourn the world for the suffering within
I mourn the genocide, and deaths of children
I mourn my friendships
I mourn the stories that were left untold
I mourn the future
I mourn that which I do not know
I mourn my lack of cognition
I mourn my genuine regression
I mourn the fact that everyone's moving forwards
And yet I find myself stuck in the past
I mourn my lack of interest in a real future
I mourn every moment that once has passed
I mourn my lack of work-ethic
I mourn my masculinity as a whole
I mourn knowing not
Where the world itself went wrong
I mourn not self-correcting
I mourn the place I find myself today
I mourn a world that is ending
I mourn my little, innocent dying soul
I mourn my wishes for acceptance
I mourn my need to fit in
I mourn my lack of social awareness
That which will eventually be my end
I mourn my needs in general
I mourn all of me combined
I mourn my mother and father
I mourn those whom I've lost to time
I mourn the dying talent within
I mourn the utter loneliness in which I find myself
I mourn the person that I once was
Oh he was so devoid of life
I mourn the fact that I know that I've made progress
But...
I mourn that I've been stuck in the same place for a good while
I mourn every morning that I sleep
I mourn as I stay awake each night
I mourn my genuine inability to weep
I mourn the fact that I'm really not fine
I mourn it all because that's what I know
I mourn cause that's all that I can do
I mourn that which I can't fix
For what else can become of it
For even if I stress all that much
I'm still going to gain nothing
I mourn that which I know not
I mourn all my wasted time
I mourn the person that I'm becoming
I mourn even as I attempt to rhyme
I mourn my futile strings of words together
I mourn how much I used to care
I mourn my absolute, total apathy
Towards this world and what it bears
I've only learned to mourn
Ever since I was four
So excuse me if mourning is my coping mechanism
I only ever know mourning, after all
I mourn how devoid my life is of a message
There's definitely a lesson to be learned somewhere along
But to that, I mourn the fact that I'm blind
I can barely see, anyways
I mourn the fact that I have to shield my eyes
And cover them with those heavy spectacles
Whose weight I've gotten used to
I mourn the lack of apology
From all of those I was once close to
I mourn my failed relationships together
All of them as a collective
I mourn what I couldn't make reality
I mourn my inability to deliver my messages
I once loved the world
Then hated it
Then loved it again
Now I feel so indifferent towards it
Towards love, hatred, relief, and pain
Towards smiles, frowns
Towards fear, courage
Towards all the things that one can feel
Towards the place in which I grew, my village
I'm truly, utterly lost
I lost my way somewhere I long
I mourn the fact that I am who I am
Because, honestly
All I can do is mourn...