Humanity

Why do we yearn for connection
That which is always amiss?
Why do we require camaraderie
Do we truly need other souls to light up the abyss within?
The world is dark and scary sometimes
But in the dark cold is a gentleness unfathomable
It'll crush the blind and the wary equally
But that which remains untold, withering, unimaginable
The human condition is a massive mystery
For what do we truly strive to be?
Must we always be better
Find purpose in what we do
Or be set free
To do what we always dreamed of?
What is dreaming, anyways
What does it mean?
What is the point of living?
How do we truly know what we feel?
Are my interactions true?
Is my personality real?
Is the love that I harbor for her honest
Or have I been lying to myself for two years?
Do I love my friends
Or do I want some new?
Can I fit within
Or am I forever alone?
Cursed to be a wallflower
Or an outcast in exile
Of what I am, I'm unsure
Unreal, is how everything recently feels
Like a wisp
Or a dream
Something fading, a faux memory
So I apologize to those I might've wronged
In my dreams or in that which they perceive to be real
I refuse to acknowledge this dark, stricken world
Or let myself be any weaker than steel
I'll break and reforge myself anew
Time and time again
One day I'll run out of raw materials
Or the flames in which I temper myself
But then again, that's why I seek
Others to help me
For alone I am nothing
With them I'm, me
What is truly me
What is humanity
Is my personality real?
Lately, I've been finding it harder and harder to maintain conversations with other people. It is like I've got nothing really interesting to say or nothing of value to add
What is the cause of that
I wonder, could I be so absorbed into my little world
That I forgot to make space for that which matters most?
Did I confuse basic kindness for true love
Or am I genuinely adored?
I wonder, as I wander, and seek answers that I'll never find
I ponder that which confused many before me, the answer eluding me as it hides
Behind a veil of mystery, shrouded with the darker themes of grace
The truest battle a man can face
Is when they look within, or in the mirror
And learn to see that that which is behind the facade is not to their liking
So a change is imminent
But in what direction?
One day, I'll have to be the man with the answers
But today, I'll keep asking questions

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