A letter to my ghost

Hi
I haven't spoken to you in a while
Everything is fine
I just miss you
You didn't show up in my dreams in a while
And that is just fine
But I really miss you
I miss our talks
And your hugs
I miss your wisdom
And your love
You've left me wounded, afraid
Lost in my world that's filled with friends
All of which were just as young
All of which could have done nothing
But watch
And observe as I tore myself apart
Broke myself to my core
And built myself a new
And honestly, what for?
My dearest, oldest friend
My closest one in the whole world
I miss you
Please
I miss you
I miss your hugs
I miss your kisses
I really wish I could
Live up to your wishes
But I am lost
And the road has found me
On which I've walked
Till I found the end of the street
Sat there on the pavement
Watching the traffic
The people and vehicles
The cars flying past me
And I'm just there
Glued, stuck in place
Lost and afraid
You left me, and I didn't know how to
Remember you
They say the first thing you forget
About a person is their voice
And that rings true
I wish I could hear you
I love you
And I miss you
And the world is empty without you
No matter what replenishment I find
Nothing can fill the void
Inside my heart
I'm broken down
Inside my mind
I am hell-bound
Hell, I can't even feel the air caress my face anymore
I've grown so damn numb
I ended a man
He doesn't exist to me anymore
Don't worry, I didn't kill him
I just don't trust him at all
And trust to me is all
You know that to be very true
I miss you, and I love you
And I wish I could stay mad at you
But you're my ghost
My favourite ghost
I grew a guardian angel, by the way
Pretty much a figment of my imagination
An image of you, a perverted one I must admit
That keeps me elevated
Oh and I fell in love a while back
You met her, I believe
She said she loved your light
Well, honestly that's all she could see
But if that were true, then thank you truly
But I wish your light would visit me
And if I could hug you one last time
I promise, it'd set me free
Sometimes I thought that by killing myself
I'd visit you
How dumb of me, honestly
But I was still in my youth
And to tell you the truth, I don't know if it would
Or if it's just a fool's errand
The other side is unknown to us all
And what's beyond is a mystery
But I know you're out there somehow
And I remember you
Do you remember me?
Oh I lost all trust in humanity sometime recently by the way
And it made it so easy to survive
But not live
Somehow thrive
And still be worthless
You're the last person I can ever talk to
Or even message
Because I know you can't respond
But I love you, and I miss you
I hope you can read my message
And tell me where I went wrong

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