Pillars

 The pillars carrying the weight
Maintaining the roof above my head
Crumbled under years of neglect
The truth laying behind
A black curtain blind
Flickering in the background
Like a silhouette
It haunts me from back there
The weakness of my resolve
All my strength dissolved
As I relapse into old habits
The guns that I have stored
For a rainy day
Have broken apart slowly
Day by day
And I only learned recently
What my neglect has caused
Why my house was crumbling all along
Why I found myself left all alone
Thanks to my actions
And my actions alone
I was on my own
And I chose to be so
I walked a distinctive path
I followed it's bright glow
And didn't realize it dimmed step by step
And into gloom I went
Into the bright past of mine I looked
Only to realize it was darkened by the end
Events I had no control over
But reactions that I took fully knowingly
The ramifications of my responses
Are now being shown to me
The consequences of my actions
The consequences of neglect
The choices I have chosen not to make
Stare at me disappointed
Stare at me in the end
I have nothing left but them
And they are worth nothing to me
Well they are worth something
They taught me what not to be
Sadly I am just that
A lonely man standing in the dark
Letting not a single glimpse travel outside
And daring not to want more than naught
So I danced alone under the starry skies
And I made the roofless world my home
I learned walk my sorrows off
And dance them away too
I learned to let my past go
And with it, I went too
My pillars finally collapsed
But the home was long abandoned
And I was too far gone
My pillars were reduced to ash
In the storm of my reckless abandon
And what was done was done
I can never go back now and I
Well I have made my choice
A choice I will live to regret
For the rest of my life
But I will live my life
And I will live it fully, too
Reminiscing the days back then
When what I used to do
Was what I wished to do
So I watch the silhouette
It is now appearing on the moon
I stare at it as it stares back
And I finally acknowledged the truth