Observations

 Every night I wonder
What I've done to be alone
All day I spend my time following
Observations of my own
And I don't understand why
I spend all my time in disguise
I try and try to learn the reason
Behind the treason I've committed to my life
I follow the observations
They lead me to learn my limitations
The anguish and the sorrow
The sadness and the horror
The darkness lying within
The need to suppress it all
The yearning for an end
That's happy
A hope that in the end
I'll be happy
And not alone
I walk in the shadow
Cast by myself
The sun gazing at the back of my head
I gaze back at it
In the depths of night
As to avoid hurting my eyes
I ask the sun, and its sisters
If they knew
The reason behind my torment
I doubt they ever understood
But speaking to the skies
Helped calm me
Even if they've never called me back
They'll one day call me back
And I'll be there
Surrounded by friends I've made
Years and years ago
I won't be alone in that end
And that's all I think of
When I imagine what my life amounts to
And I will soar above
My eyes will see all
My soul will be set to roam
And I'll never fall
I will call upon my role
As the gazer on the earth
The star in the sky
I will become what I was destined to be
Free
I know not whether my fascinations are true
There are no observations to work as proof
Yet I hold unto them
They do bring me solace sometimes
My soul feels attached to that life
I call out in the dark
And a light shines anew
Within my eyes I see it
In the back of my mind
I try and reach out to grasp it
And it flees
So I write down the feeling
That I received
When it flew away
And dissipated in the void
A state of limbo I find myself in
One I can't avoid
So I search for that light
My whole life
I dedicate my efforts
For it'll help me survive
So I go
Hoping to follow
The truth of me
Hoping to find that long lost child
Within me