Alone

 Staying in bed
Awakened
By strange thoughts
Ruminating
What the end ought
To be like
Instated
The insomnia
Gnawing so deep into
My soul
And I'm left
All alone
To wonder whether
I deserved anything
At all
A hero, a soldier
I was called
By people who don't know
The truth
They think they know
Because I'm still a part of
The youth
Smoking the air
Filling my lungs with oxygen
Without a care
In the world, or within
Fear has a way of reaching me
The deepest parts of my heart
Controlling my every action
Ripping my life apart
And in the tidbits of shattered pieces
And a dead consciousness
I see
Something is truly broken
Within me
I don't know what it is
But I know it's been there for long
And I know it completely refuses
To leave me
Alone
For the hardships have followed
And left long ago
I walked into a battle
That I had nothing to do with
And I lost
My chest was rattled
By the fear I felt within
I was gone
And in replaced me
A person unknown
A stranger's mind
A wanderer's soul
Isolated myself
And lived in solitude
I became so incompatible
With people like you
Like me
Like anybody, really
Just waiting in a long queue
For my turn to walk away
And I find it rather humorous
That by then I'd wanna stay
Which is funny in of itself
Because frankly
I have no reason to, now
Maybe the future holds a difference
But I really wonder how
It might bring me a fortune
Who knows what the fortunes hold
The cards are dealt
The hands are given
No one really cares
About right or wrong
But I'll walk away nonetheless
Alone
And I am certain that in the end
I'll die alone
And what's funny
Is that I'm not bothered
By the idea of death
Or the idea of loneliness
Or by them both
Neither together, nor alone
It's like my heart
Is made of stone
But no
I know
That I can't tell what the future holds
So I'll just bide my time
Until I have a reason to stop
And actually do something
And set up shop
Find a place to settle
And stop wandering along
Perhaps one day
I might stop having to be
Alone