I'm afraid

 Thinking back on my days
Caused me to find myself
In a strange place
My peace of mind is gone
It's been gone for years
I've been on the run for long
Sprinting away from my fears
And if they hadn't manifested
Into what I am now
Maybe I'd have felt better
But I don't know how
See I'm afraid
I'm afraid of what I'd become
I'm afraid
I'm afraid of everything that's to come
I'm afraid
I'm afraid of the beliefs that I'm haunted by
I'm afraid
I'm afraid of my sporadic thoughts
I'm afraid
I'm afraid that I'll get by
I'm afraid
I'm afraid that for me that's all she wrote
I'm afraid to wake up one day and find
That I'm lost
And then again I am nowhere to find
Guess my direction is what I've lost
And over the course of the years past
I've found multiple versions of me
Dwindling dangling from stories passed
Manifesting into my greatest fears
I'm afraid to become myself again
I'm afraid that we don't know each other any more
I'm afraid that I am too far gone
Staring at my own silhouette through a door
And in the frame stands tall a figure
Too disfigured for me to recognize
And tonight when I stared at him again
I knew that a part of him had died
Died a long long time ago
When he lost everything he used to hold
Into his heart dear
Going through the stages of grief
Not knowing anything but fear
Pretending to be made of stone
Pretending to be very strong
Hating everything he has become
Yet he keeps moving on and on
From everything and he pretends
That he had actually moved on
Trying to survive day in and day out
He takes his life day by day
And staring at that silhouette I knew now
That for him there is no way
No way to be redeemed, to become good
No way to be free, or to be understood
He runs and runs and trips on his face
Stands up again and moves ahead
Pretending that everything is fine
While every day he ends up a little more dead
It's impossible that I'm correct
And all the people are wrong
Looking at me from a distance scares me
Makes me afraid
That I had become
Everything that I hate

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